Love It or Leave It: Granny Panties

*I have not received any compensation for this article. All opinions expressed are my own.

Ladies, let’s talk skivvies. I’m embarrassed to admit that I’ve been rockin’ the same worn out (but oh so comfortable) ratty lookin’ pairs for at least the last five years. I know, I know…but I’ve been focusing on my kids and I’m finally starting to revamp myself and my closet.

A week before I gave birth, I failed my non-stress test and was immediately hospitalized. I didn’t even have my hospital bag packed because I was two months away from my due date and I was naive about twins and premature births. I had come from work and literally had only the clothes on my back. Thankfully, my parents lived around the corner from the hospital and my mom immediately sprang into action, asking what I would need in the interim until my husband could drive to our house 30 minutes away and pack an official hospital bag. It seemed as though I was going to be clothed in Labor & Delivery haute couture for the indefinite future. So I asked my mom for comfortable underwear, since I was placed on immediate bedrest. A couple of hours later, she returned with a freshly-laundered bounty from Target and laid them out on the foot of the bed. They were quite possibly the biggest and ugliest granny panties (ps-I hate that word) ever. I looked at her. She looked at me.

“What’s the matter?” She asked, perplexed.

“Are you serious?” I questioned, corporate eyebrow in full arch.

“You said you wanted comfortable underwear and I don’t know what size you are at this point.”

“Thanks.”

I reluctantly pulled them on and immediately realized what us daughters normally realize; mom is always right. Ladies, hear me out here…these were the most comfortable damned things ever! Where have these been all my life? They were a bit snug when I first got them, and after I gave birth and my body returned to its new but not original shape, they became more roomy. They were fantastic for wearing post-c-section, as they came up high and did not irritate my healing incision. These have become my staple to wear at night to bed, like a security blanket that wraps me in softness and comfort. Except now, they’re so worn out that I can hike them up nearly to my boobs. We are pushing girdle status. Let me tell you, there’s nothing that keeps the spark alive in your ten-year-old marriage like worn out and faded underwear. Meow.

So, on a recent romantic Saturday night in, whereby my husband fell asleep before the kids and left me to binge watch Fixer Upper by my lonesome, I decided to peruse various underwear brands to determine my upgrade options. I wanted something with a bit more coverage, as I only wear them to bed, prices that weren’t going to break the bank, and elastic that wasn’t going to come up to my neck and give me a cinched Hefty bag look.

I scoured various websites of my go-to brands and to my surprise, found Aerie, a division of American Eagle. I know what you’re thinking: pre-teen training bras and underwear with the days of the week emblazoned on them.  Let me reassure you-their lingerie line is not geared towards teeny boppers. In fact, I was extremely happy to see their featured models looked like healthy and typical figured women ranging in sizes and body types. Their photos give you a real sense of how their bras and underwear fit various body types so that you can see the coverage of each cut.

Aerie has every cut and style imaginable, from boybriefs to high waisted boybriefs, thongs, cheekies, bikinis, and boyshorts with soft fabrics like cotton, lace and nylon. The prices are very reasonable and I was lucky to score a sale that was going on: 10 pairs of underwear for $35. There is free shipping on all orders over $50. I decided to sample a few styles, as I couldn’t get the full shopping experience of feeling the fabrics through my computer. I ordered a few pairs of the Aerie seamless cutout bikini, the Aerie seamless cutout high-waisted bikini, the Aerie shine boybrief + sunburst lace, the Aerie cotton bikini, and the Aerie real soft stretch cotton bikini. I shied away from most of the boy short type cuts, as they tend to give me wedgies. I already have one twin that wakes me up throughout the night, I didn’t need my underwear being another culprit of interrupted sleep.

I was really excited to receive my shipment in the mail, only to be a little disappointed in the quality of the material. The fabric was thin and every pair ran on the small side, so I returned them. I will say, however, that I ordered 2 bras and ended up really liking them and keeping them.

With no new underwear to show for my efforts, I decided to head to Target; after all, my original granny panties from there were still going fairly strong. I was headed towards the lingerie department, but of course I got sidetracked by the Dollar Spot, the swimwear department, the athletic wear, and really cute tote bags (I’m a self-proclaimed bag whore). I may or may not have made some extraneous purchases. But I digress…

When I finally made my way into the lingerie department, I found an aisle that had bins of women’s underwear divided by cut with all of the sizes mixed together. You really had to pick through each compartment to see what the underwear looked like and to find the right size. I ended up purchasing five pairs of underwear; two cotton bikini cuts that were on the smaller side, two bikini cuts that were on the more fuller coverage side, and one hipster brief that appeared to be a hybrid of a bikini and a brief with a coverage level between the two.

These are on the smaller side and aren’t as comfy as the others.

These are soft but they were a little more snug than I would have liked and I was concerned that they’d shrink in the dryer.

These are super soft and truly seamless.

Raise your hand if you saw the movie Road Trip! “Did you kill a cheetah?” 

Even though the tag says “seamless,” they definitely are not (as you can clearly see the seams) and were a little too snug for my liking.

The two smaller bikini cuts didn’t work out for me, as they were a little more snug than I would prefer for sleeping. The hybrid bikini brief, although soft, was a little too high and too tight. The two fuller coverage bikinis were my goldilocks pairs-they were just right! I can’t even find the words to describe to you just how soft these underwear are. They are seamless, weightless, and super comfortable. My husband was jealous that they don’t make mens underwear in this fabric-he has an appreciation for really soft fabric.

So, after this exciting experience of underwear shopping, I ended up keeping the seamless cheetah and hot pink pairs from Target. I returned the rest and scooped up more pairs of the seamless ones in different colors from Target and my underwear refresh is now complete. Final love it or leave it vote on granny panties: love ’em!

Do you have a favorite brand or fit? Let me know in the comments below!

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Twinstant Mom, Tamar

Tamar Blazer is an attorney-turned-twin mom, with a passion for her family, friends, writing, good food, home decor and laughing. When she’s not lamenting on her lack of sleep, you can find her doing one of the too many projects she likes to take on, usually with a twin on either side.

www.twinstantgratification.com